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About four years ago, I thought I might be lost forever: spiritual, emotionally and physically.
How could I ever feel peace again, I wondered?
It was the year , my died and I became a single mother. I believed that my future would be filled only with fear, suffering and shame.
That was “the” word and feeling that ironically moved me to become a more spiritual person, as well as a better, daughter, friend, lover, writer, and may I also say, a more more beautiful woman, outside and in.
How did this happen?
I hearkened back to my deep roots and teachings of Buddhism that my Japanese mother and grandmother raised their children with, in much tougher times such as , and with difficult circumstances that pale in comparison to mine.
They did not only survive horrific periods, with infants dying, prejudice, poverty and war; rather, they enjoyed life in spite of these perils, proving that the human spirit is stronger than one can ever imagine.
I began to raise my consciousness and learned to be selfless, even asking for suffering to come into my life more fully so I could be at peace with its sudden appearances and abandonment, willing me to an existence of balance and light.
But in order to face my own peace and suffering, I first had to address my physical health, because the stress and grief I was trying to deny was killing me.
But the first thing I had to face insofar as my own was with was my health, because due to the severe stress that I was facing, I felt like I was dying.
I could not think, I could not focus, I could not dance, I could not love—I could not even dream.
My whole body felt lifeless and yet pinned with constant pain. And when I was not in pain, I felt numb and lifeless, as if my body and my soul were not even mine and I was watching someone else take over my life.
But one day as I glanced at my own reflection, I had an epiphany that shocked me right out of my senses and through to my innermost core.
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Here is How I Did It:
I lost ten real pounds in four months, which might seem slow, but they are real pounds and I have not gained them back. Always check with a doctor before beginning any plan.
Embrace this confusion.