1. Todd:Wears loafers. Knows specifically what
Ralph Lauren line looks best on him.
glasses, doesn’t need them.
the Northeast, played lacrosse in high school and thought he would be
recruited, but wasn’t. Always slightly shorter than you want him to be.
picky eater. His girlfriend will always end up financially supporting him.
6. Bryan:Totally different from Brian. Wears a lot
of Hawaiian shirts.
texts you back because he’s perpetually on some “comedy tour.”
conventionally attractive, but super fucking funny.
like, a super niche indie band and plays the bagpipes and some other instrument
nobody has ever heard of. Lives in Europe now because “Europeans appreciate the
in Patagonia fleeces, no matter what temperature it is outside.
who shows up uninvited to things. The target to be roasted in all group texts.
Handles it like a champ.
always at GameStop.
friends with him because he has a car and never seems to be doing anything so
he always will give you a ride.
straight-As in high school and then started drinking in college. Hasn’t stopped
World of Warcraft and drinks Monster energy drinks.Still.
surfing once, puts the surfer guy emoji next to his name when he puts his name
into your phone.
uncomfortable not wearing some kind of argyle print somewhere on his person.
that guy who comments in public Facebook event pages why he can’t attend. Adam,
nobody in “The Chainsmoker’s: Metro Nashville Area” cares that you’re bummed
you can’t go because you’ll be visiting family in Seattle that weekend.
texts you about wanting to drop acid on a weekday.
“Feminist” in his dating app profiles so he can get laid.
probably met him at a music festival. He will use any opportunity given to take
his shirt off. He owns and wears colored, plastic wayfarers.
owns sleeveless shirts.
Magnum condoms, doesn’t have to.
trying to bring “Chaz” back.
at Equinox, didn’t actually *officially* graduate from USC (one unit short).
Every profile picture he has on Facebook is with girls.
vodka Red Bulls a little too much.
in high school,officially
the worst now.
shame you for getting too drunk.
threatens to “write about you” in his future book.
girls who are way out of his league.
401k straight out of college. Has a Bible verse tattooed somewhere.
literally do anything to make people laugh at parties. Once licked a banana
slug on a dare.
he’s a lot hotter than he actually is. Never successfully uses
don’t seeing it coming” fuck boy.
always playing an acoustic guitar.
telling people that he’s a really good guy. He’s pretty mediocre.
lot of sweater vests.
sing for a girl on the first date.
been doodling anime on random pieces of paper since he was in 5th grade.
invites you to his DJ gigs all the time.
47. Zachary:Big fan
can’t say anything bad about him, but at the same time…You can’t really find
anything great to say about him either?
in his skateboarding phase.
like, personally offended when people cheat or play even the simplest games
“the wrong way.” Used to cry when his middle school basketball team lost.
playing intramural frisbee in college.
is British or wants to be British.
in a super nice upper-middle class suburb and got two girls (who were friends)
54. Mark:Accidentally snuck into a really cool group
of friends. Nobody knows how.
loves the Fast and Furious franchise.
when he was 14, still acts like he is 14.
up to his name.
loves his Mom.
his bong Mike Wazowski.
sounds like he’s talking through his nose.
you fall in love with. Wears a lot of flannel.
white mid-calf socks, no matter the occasion.
to date you, but you don’t want to date him.
talking about how much he loves San Fransisco. Can speak French.
tells you you’re splitting the check at dinner.
wants to take you on a hike. Loves to bring his golden retriever who is “great
telling you it’s “Erik with a K.” Thinks he’s the most unique person in the
world. Always in a beanie.
into climbing. Just a touch granola, but it would take getting to know him
really well to figure that out.
Duke, won’t shut up about it.
help himself and needs to argue with people in the comments section of things.
Instagram aesthetic. Lots of pictures of him on a boat.
you a song about how he loves you.
down really fast, is the first of his friends to be a father.
wear a backwards hat until he is 45.
his head whenever his sports team wins anything.
refers to himself as a “legend,” rarely does anything that qualifies as
to sex as “making love.”
every post you put on your social media.